Hello Friends,
It’s been a very long time since I’ve written a global blog. We have a V.I.P. Membership program where I curate behind-the-scene updates, tour blogs and songs not otherwise recorded. I’ve produced NEW material for this program each month, yet for whatever reason…I have faltered writing globally, to our “non-member” fans, so my apologies.
I suppose the delay has been due to, “what good is there to say?” The world as we know it has changed since the last time I reached out to all of you. Undergoing Covid and the shut down, all the countries’ growing pains, it actually stifled me a bit. Apparently I’m not the only one.
Some people took that time and made the best of it. Others got depressed, gained weight, drank their fool heads off…and me…well, I did a combination of both! Ha! I, like many, was in shock at first. To see 80 shows fall off of our calendar March 14th 2020 only to wonder how we were going to “support” ourselves through this time. We embraced technology as most did; going LIVE with our “Love Streams” kept our bills paid. Then the tumultuous questions, “What shows DO we show up for?” Our whole living is based on going out into crowds and spreading good vibes through music. How were we supposed to do this with both the fear and ethical factor of spreading a deadly virus on our conscience?
You can see why I didn’t really know WHAT to write.
Then as time does, it makes us look, consider, take in, hopefully appreciate what we DO have around us. I appreciated the break of “go go go”. I embraced silent days with myself and Mo and our dog Juno. I stepped back from my busyness. I pecked out a few songs here and there. I put on 30 pounds and enjoyed ALL the yummies and fancy drinks I learned to make being my own bar-tender.
Then my father died 10/14/2020. A whole new grief bore down. There was a lot of agony going on for me. I had no “fus-pah” to write a blog for folks and the months kept crawling and spinning by, “quick-slow”. We’ve seemed to catapult into the last 2-3 years, hanging onto the “pole” that will dump you over to the other side.
New years of last year 2021 came upon us and I dug in. I vowed that I would not swivel away my time, I would recommit to a healthier body. Put myself on a better eating program and limited my intake of libations. It was a good start. We had a decent year in 2021, it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. It was a moderate year, and I took off the 30 I put on (note: It took a LOT longer to take it off than put it on, ugh!)
Dad’s been gone for over a year now, which seems impossible to conceive. He sat in the audience at our last production at the Sapphire Room with a big proud smile. That was the day before the shut down, March 12th, 2020. He showed up to surprise me that day. I will forever have fond memories of that time with him.
The silver lining of everything coming to a stop more or less, was that our ‘chops’ on our instruments have indeed improved. We are no longer afraid of cameras in our faces capturing video because we streamed every week during that year. Also I don’t give a shit about being completely transparent with my growth as a person or a musician. We are all going to pass from this existence so I might as well show up fully…100% for myself and others. Any cards I might have kept, I now show.
We are far from perfect. But the world, or at least a part of this world is coming into the realization that – yes, we are NOT perfect - we are human, perfectly human. No one sits higher than another; a simple germ can wipe us off the face of the map.
I have a lot of philosophy as to “why” this has happened in our world. We HAVE needed to slow down, we HAVE needed to take a look, we HAVE needed to go inward, we HAVE needed to reflect and dig down to REAL priorities. It HAS been a worldwide teachable time! We also desperately need to be GOOD stewards of the planet and take into consideration of our impact.
I have survived and even thrived and so has Mo, yet we’ve had some leave us which has been so sad. We’ve watched ourselves, our government, the world and others inconsistency. Masks on? Masks off? WTH? Wash your hands, do your best, don’t judge others with what they want to do, respect your own integrity. We’ve all bared witness to the morality dilemma of the Nation and the world and our little “pods” in which we hang.
I have laid my fingers over the neck of the guitar, asking for its magic and trying to understand deeper theoretic musings. Guitar and music still holds its mystery for me. I’m still amazed! It will never be done for me, I will ALWAYS be mystified by the glory of music and how it can take one to tears and also lift them high! I spend my time mostly how I’d like to, and this is a true gift for which I am deeply grateful.
Our audience through the last couple years has literally “saved our bacon”. The out pouring of love has been remarkable and donations have allowed us to keep Juno’s bowl full and our own bellies.
My hope for 2022? That we ALL look at ourselves and see something beautiful staring back at us; we get in touch with our true nature and bring acceptance to it. We slough off the old judgments and doubts and learn to live more deeply from inside out. People are already rewarding more and more authenticity and I think this is fabulous! Our expectations of ourselves and others are met with grace and the space of forgiveness. That is my wish and prayer for me and the world.
That we truly understand what it means to be peaceful, inside and live it and demonstrate it to each other. We truly know that things are not the goal; inner happiness is a breath away.
Yes, it’s been a while. I’ve wanted to write to you 1000 times. What to say during all this…? You are loved, and so am I. Let yourself feel it! Happy New Year!!!
